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Monday, March 15, 2010

BUCKLE UP! THE DOGS DRIVING (I'M TOOO DRUNK)

DON"T GOOGLE IT!

Use URBAN DICTIONARY INSTEAD!
Ok, so I googled my name and I just got a ton of weird dog pics...
I went on urban dictionary, and with the ammount of dirty definaitions I was sure that my results would not be good, but they ruled check out the top three:

1.An absolutely fantastic girl. A gorgeous, funny, lovable, hugable cutie. Double fisting glasses of Stella is not uncommon for Heidi. Saying Heidi is amazing would be an understatement. Heidi is the name only given to those who deserve and respect it. There is no such thing as simply "A Heidi," as anyone with the name of Heidi deserves special recognition. Anyone named Heidi should be addressed as "The Heidi" because no Heidi is ordinary and each and every Heidi is worthy of such a title.

2. Heidi is a awesome gorgeous girl with class. she is fresh till death and can make you do a double take. she has big hair and is proud of it. she is a girl who doesnt hate black people just hate everyone around her

Damn, have you seen heidi!

3. A CRAZY bitch who needs some damn Prozac!

GOOGLE IT!!!

So have you ever google image searched your name?
What did you get?
! found out that I have a very common pet name, thanks mom!
Here's what i got...




ARRRT BY LAWNJOB!!!

OH JOHNNY OH JOHNNY OH! "DON'T SIT UNDER THE APPPLE TREE"!!!!


The Andrew Sisters

MY NEW LOGO!!!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

BC BEER!!!

dude. when i saw this beer i was like "yeah, $7.80 right on". after closer inspection,
and after downing a few cans of the tasty beer  the BC logo in the middle 
started to transform. now every time i look at the can
 all i see is a tiki being fanned by some polar bear hula girls.....


Young At Heart

Young At Heart

YOUNG AT HEART

Just when you think you’ve seen it all you find yourself coming around the corner in the hygiene section to find two over 70 year olds arguing over which lube will be the best. I mean kudos for them for having a sex life but for God’s sake do you have to have an argument at levels which a deaf man could hear about it?
Then as if that isn’t enough, I was in the check out line, when said old couple come into the line behind me. I was about the third person in line when they came into the line behind me. In 5 minutes they were arguing about whether they should have gotten ribbed, nubbed or vibrating condoms. Watching the mother in the line ahead of me try to occupy her kids from the conversation behind me, it occured to me what the hell did they need condoms for at 70 and could they shut up?
I turned around and said “Honestly, do you have to argue about this here so loudly? And why at 70 should you even be concerned with condoms?” I realised after the last thing I said I didn’t want to know.
Before I could turn around eliminating a response the woman said “We have lovers and they are both in their 30’s. We like a little fun in our marriage.” Yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little….